By Belissa Rugamba, Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying)
Your heart is racing before a presentation. You’re lying awake at 2 a.m. replaying a conversation. Your shoulders have been up near your ears for a week and you’re not sure why. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone, and nothing about you is “broken.”
Before I trained as a therapist, I studied neuroscience. One of the most useful things I learned is that anxiety makes a lot more sense once you understand what your brain is trying to do. In this post I’ll walk through what happens in the brain and body during anxiety, why it often shows up so strongly in your twenties, and a few simple things you can try today.
What Happens in Your Brain When You Feel Anxious
Here’s a simplified picture. Deep in the brain is the amygdala, which works a bit like a smoke alarm. Its job is to scan for danger and react fast. When it senses a threat, it signals your body to get ready to fight, run or freeze.
Toward the front of your brain is the prefrontal cortex. You can think of it as the brakes. It helps you slow down, look at the facts, and decide whether the alarm is actually needed.
Anxiety often happens when the alarm is very sensitive and the brakes have a harder time catching up. A missed text, an exam or a hard conversation isn’t physically dangerous, but your brain can still respond as if it were. That’s not a character flaw. It’s a protective system working overtime.
The encouraging part: brains can learn. With practice, many people find they can get better at noticing the alarm and pressing the brakes sooner.
How Anxiety Shows Up in Your Body
Anxiety isn’t only in your head. Because the alarm system prepares your whole body for action, you might notice:
- Racing or looping thoughts that are hard to switch off
- Trouble falling or staying asleep
- Muscle tension, especially in the jaw, neck and shoulders
- A tight chest, shallow breathing or a pounding heart
- An upset stomach or changes in appetite
- Feeling restless, on edge or easily irritated
Some of these can also have medical causes, so it’s worth checking in with your doctor if physical symptoms are new or intense.
Why Anxiety Often Peaks in Your Twenties
Your twenties come with a lot of firsts, often all at once. You might be finishing school, starting a career, moving out, managing money on your own, or figuring out relationships and who you want to be.
Each of these brings uncertainty, and the brain’s alarm system tends to react to uncertainty. Add social media comparison, financial pressure and expectations from family or yourself, and it makes sense that many young adults feel stretched thin. Feeling anxious during a season of big change is a very human response.
How Therapy Can Help You Work With Anxiety
There are several well-researched ways to work with anxiety. One you may have heard of is cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), which is built on the idea that thoughts, feelings and behaviours are linked. A thought (“I’m going to fail”), leads to a feeling (dread), which leads to a behaviour (avoiding the task), which can make the next thought even louder. Learning to notice and gently question that cycle can loosen its grip.
In my own work, I take a client-centred, trauma-informed and strengths-based approach, and I draw on what I learned in neuroscience to help clients understand what their nervous system is doing. That means we start with your experience, move at your pace, and build on what’s already helping you cope. Every person is different, and there’s no single approach that works for everyone.
Three Grounding Strategies to Try Today
These won’t make anxiety disappear, but they can help your body shift out of alarm mode in the moment.
1. Breathe out longer than you breathe in. Try breathing in for a count of four and out for a count of six. A longer exhale is a simple way to signal to your body that it can slow down. Repeat for a minute or two.
2. Use the 5-4-3-2-1 check-in. Name five things you can see, four you can feel, three you can hear, two you can smell and one you can taste. This pulls your attention out of “what if” and back into the present moment.
3. Name it to tame it. Say to yourself, “I’m noticing anxiety right now.” Putting a feeling into words can help you step back from it, so you’re observing the alarm rather than being swept up in it.
When to Reach Out for Support
It might be time to talk to someone if anxiety is:
- Getting in the way of school, work, sleep or relationships
- Leading you to avoid things you used to manage
- Lasting for weeks rather than coming and going
- Making you feel alone with it
You don’t have to wait until things feel unmanageable. Many people come to therapy simply because they want to understand themselves better.
I work with young adults on anxiety, in person at our Kanata clinic and Gloucester clinic, and through online therapy across Ontario. You can learn more about how MindSpa supports anxiety or book a free introductory consultation with me to see whether we’re a good fit.
About the author
Belissa Rugamba is a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) (CRPO #23721) at MindSpa Mental Health Centre and a Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology (MACP) candidate at Yorkville University. She holds an Honours Bachelor of Science in Neuroscience from the University of Toronto. Belissa works with young adults on anxiety, trauma, emotional regulation, self-esteem, identity and life transitions, using CBT and person-centred approaches. She sees clients in person at MindSpa’s Kanata and Gloucester clinics and virtually across Ontario. Belissa practises under the clinical supervision of Tina Wilston, M.Ed., RP, Co-Founder and Clinical Director of MindSpa. You can confirm her registration on the CRPO public register.
Meet Belissa Rugamba · Book a free introductory consultation with Belissa
This article is for general education and isn’t a substitute for a professional assessment or treatment. If you are in crisis or thinking about suicide, call or text 9-8-8, the Suicide Crisis Helpline, any time. If you are in immediate danger, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency department. MindSpa is not an emergency service.